Have you heard the saying “Thoughts become things”?
When we’re caught up listening to our thoughts too often, if we’re not careful, we can actually start “living” them. Meaning, when you believe something it becomes very real, even if it's just a thought.
There was one thought that I could never seem to get out of my head.
“I have no confidence!”
Where did that thought come from?
There are lots of reasons why that thought existed in my mind, but mostly it was because other people had told me so. And so, I believed them.
And because I believed them so much I began telling my self it too, until it became so ingrained in my mind that it hindered everything I said, did or wanted to say and do.
The thought of being in a group with other people, having to speak up, let alone being seen, sent shivers down my spine.
I’d constantly worry about how I looked, for fear of being judged.
I was afraid to speak up, for fear of being knocked down.
And I was afraid to be my self, for fear of being ridiculed.
I became quiet, withdrawn, depressed. Afraid.
And it didn’t stop there. To me, none of my clothes looked right.
My body was the wrong shape.
I just felt like I never fitted in.
And so I believed that I wasn’t liked, I would never fit in and I would absolutely never be confident.
But you know what?
It just wasn’t true.
And I proved this!
Three years ago I organised a secret, birthday party for my Husbands 50th. Not only that, but I added in a surprise renewal of our marriage vows - meaning, I was going to propose to him!! AND, in front of guests!!!
What was I thinking?
So behind the scenes I went around organising this event. I got the venue, I got the food, I got the guests, I got the dress, the cake, you name it. I even got a new shirt for my husband and managed to get him into his suit that day without him knowing what the hell was going on.
And the biggest challenge? I had to publicly ask my husband to marry me!
I had to make a speech.
I had to be seen.
I had to be confident!
Was I nervous? Hell yeah!
But did I lack confidence?
This time I refused to believe the naysayers. I refused to listen to that voice telling me I couldn’t do it. And instead I wrote an amazing speech, I looked fab in my dress, the venue, the food, the drink, the weather, it was all perfect. I had the most amazing day.
And to top it all off, I did ask my husband to marry me, aloud and in front of everybody, and He said “Yes”!!!
How did I achieve this?
I changed my story.
I told myself that I WAS confident AND I believed it!!!
How many times do you tell your self that you’re no good at something. How many times have you actually tried doing that “something” before you came to that conclusion? Probably not many times. Maybe once. Or maybe NOT AT ALL. Well, why would you even bother? After all, you’ve got no confidence, right?!
All you have to do is believe in your self.
It really is that simple.
Your belief system - your thoughts - are the only things that are holding you back.
It’s not other people. It’s you.
Now don’t go and beat your self up over this. There’s going to be valid reasons why those beliefs even exist, but they are not reality.
With a little practise and focus you can change that story you’ve been telling your self, that’s been bringing you down all this time, and you can create a new story, that’s positive and full of confidence!
You ARE confident. All you have to do is believe it.
I believe in you x